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On a day like any other, Nate and I were chatting about life and love while enjoying a meal together. Our conversation naturally drifted toward the topic of love, commitment, and marriage. Even after 25 years together, I was still curious to hear how he felt about our journey.
“I want to know,” I asked him, “I need you to give people some advice about 25 years of marriage. What has 25 years of being married to me been like?”
Nate began to explain that marriage comes in different stages. He described the early stage of most successful—and even some unsuccessful—marriages as wonderful. That early stage often feels like a dream, with everything feeling fresh and exciting.
“Some people are together for 5 to 7 years before getting married, and they’ve already lived together, so not much changes when they tie the knot,” Nate shared. “But for people like us, coming from two separate households, you don’t really know how the other person lives—whether they’re neat or messy, whether they like to exercise, if they’re a night owl or an early bird… You just don’t know how they truly live and express themselves day to day.”
He went on to say that things usually go smoothly during the first three years. But after that, couples start to learn whether their partner is a spender or a saver, whether they plan for the future or live in the moment.
“That’s often the breaking point,” he said. “Besides issues like infidelity in the early years, finances tend to be the biggest challenge. That’s when you start wondering, ‘Did I make the right decision?’”
“But you don’t always sit down and talk to each other about it,” he continued. “It’s just a natural reaction when you’ve hit a financial rough patch.”
I decided to steer the conversation back to *our* story. “I want to talk about *our* marriage!”
I began recalling our unique journey: “We did things a lot differently than most couples. First, we got married just nine months after meeting. Actually, we moved in together only two weeks after we met!”
Yes, just two weeks! A lot of people would say we rushed things—and in a different situation, maybe they’d be right. But for us, everything just felt so natural.
“There were reasons behind it,” I explained. “My husband lived closer to my job, so it made sense for both of us. I was looking for a place to stay, and he invited me to move in.”
Nate added, “In those first couple of weeks, we would spend hours talking on the phone. We’d even fall asleep with the phone still connected. It was like our own version of *Love is Blind*, except we’d already seen each other!”
“Exactly!” I agreed. “We talked for hours on the phone. We worked the same shift, so after work, we’d talk non-stop. We shared everything—nothing was off-limits. It all just flowed so easily.”
By the time I met his family, it felt like I already knew them well. We had shared every part of our lives with each other—there were no secrets. The connection between us was incredibly deep and special from the very beginning.
