In a recent mukbang video, YouTuber Darius opened up with an honest and intriguing story about his past love life – particularly about the “girlfriends” he had before coming out.
The Backdrop: When He Didn’t Fully Understand Himself
Darius candidly admitted that he has been gay since birth, but as a child, the lack of representation and the absence of anyone like him in his environment made him believe that he was supposed to be straight like everyone else. This led to several “romantic” relationships with girls during elementary and middle school.
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Julia – The “Two-Timer” Girlfriend
His first “girlfriend” was Julia, a classmate in elementary school. The relationship only lasted a week before ending in quite a dramatic way.
It turned out Julia was “two-timing” – dating both Darius and another Black boy at the same time. In a school with very few Black students, Darius found it strangely amusing that she chose the only two Black boys.
The truth came out when Darius spoke to the other boy. Realizing they were dating the same girl, they decided to team up and confront Julia. They called her over to a reading corner at school, folded their arms like serious parents, and asked for an explanation. In the end, both of them broke up with her.
Interestingly, Darius didn’t recall feeling sad or angry. He simply thought, “Oh, she did that,” and accepted it calmly – perhaps an early sign that he didn’t really feel romantic attraction toward girls.
The Latina Girl – A One-Sided Crush
After Julia came a Latina girl Darius had a serious crush on, though they never dated. According to him, she was very beautiful by his standards at the time.
He remembers texting her constantly, almost begging for a chance to go out. Looking back, he realizes his behavior was probably a little weird, and that she had every reason not to be interested.
Eventually, she dated other boys that Darius knew, and he remembers feeling disappointed. But in hindsight, he admits he was more drawn to her appearance than genuinely wanting a romantic connection.
The Second Girlfriend – The Most “Serious” One
His final girlfriend (whose name he doesn’t remember – he admits he’s bad with names) was a kind white girl in middle school. This was considered his most “serious” relationship with a girl.
They dated for about 2–3 weeks, maybe less than a month. “Serious” in middle school terms meant they texted on Facebook Messenger – nothing more.
The relationship ended when Darius told her he was bisexual (he hadn’t fully realized he was gay at the time). He doesn’t remember her exact reaction, but he has a feeling one of her friends – someone he didn’t like – may have influenced the breakup.
Relationships With No “Spark”
Reflecting on all these relationships, Darius admits he never felt a real spark. Everything he did with these girls – even kissing – felt completely platonic. He never experienced true attraction or connection.
Pushing Back Against a Common Question
Darius also expressed his frustration with the common question: “How do you know you’re gay if you’ve never tried with a girl?”
He counters it with a simple logic: if straight people don’t have to “try” being with the same gender to know they’re not into it, why should gay people have to?
He explained that his feelings toward girls were like how straight people feel about the same gender – you can recognize someone is good-looking, but that’s it, there’s nothing more.
The Meaning Behind This Story
Darius anticipated he might receive h*ate comments or negative responses. He knows some people might say, “Okay, we get it, you’re gay, stop talking about it.”
However, he explained that this is the first time he’s been able to talk openly about this part of his life. Before coming out, he never had the chance to share these personal experiences from his youth. Now, he wants to tell the story in full – honestly and completely.
Darius’ story offers a heartfelt perspective on the journey of self-discovery many young people face, and emphasizes how important representation is in understanding one’s identity early on.
