Hello everyone! It's been a while, and I know I shouldn't come back after such a long break without any explanation. I've missed you all tremendously, at least those who have missed me, because I know not everyone is fond of me.
Finally, after being stuck in Delaware for 6 years, I've moved to Miami! I'm not sure if this was the best decision since I've lived quite a sheltered life, but it's definitely an exciting one. I've rented a house and I live with my three kids - a dog and two cats. I absolutely love my Honey, Midnight, and Missy, and you'll get to meet them soon.
Another important update is... I'm single and terrified of mingling. I'm really scared to love, scared to trust, and scared to open myself up to others. I'm working through that. I know some of you might think this is related to certain situations, but I've been through a lot off-camera. I'm trying to leave those things in the past so my 2025 can start on a good note.
But most importantly - and the reason for this video - is that I need to have a baby as soon as possible! I'm 36 years old. I can't "accidentally" have a baby like many of you lucky ones. I have to be conscious about it, make decisions, find a woman, fall in love... or maybe not.
For the longest time, I wanted to be in love and have a child, to raise children together with someone I love. But life just isn't working out that way for me. It's not that I don't think I'll ever fall in love, it's just that I don't know if I can fall in love in time before my eggs "expire." They're about to become "fried eggs"!
So, I've been thinking hard about a particular person in my life. Someone who lifted me out of depression, who has been by my side as a business partner, as the best friend I could ever ask for. And now, I might destroy our relationship by asking if she would go half and half on a baby with me.
I don't know what I'm doing anymore. What's the worst that could happen? She says no, right? There will definitely be more videos about her, especially if I'm going to ask her to be the mother of my child. I want this channel to be about what I'm really going through - no holds barred, no more pretending to be something I'm not.
I called Miss London and asked if she could come over to my place. She agreed to come within 20 minutes. I even asked her to bring champagne because I'm going to need it!
But then, while getting ready, I received a voicemail from her. She said she had to postpone until tomorrow because she needed to go to Fort Lauderdale urgently. Now I have to wait another 24 hours to know the answer!
I'm really scared about this. I'm totally fine if she doesn't want to do this - it's a really big decision and I don't anticipate she'll make a decision right during that conversation. But I'm scared that if her answer is no, she'll feel uncomfortable around me. I don't want her to think I'll be disappointed or upset. I wouldn't feel any of those things.
I just feel happy that there's at least one person I could even ask this of, and I respect her decision either way. I just don't want to make things weird, and I have a tendency to make things weird.
I don't know, guys. Wish me luck. We'll find out tomorrow!
