Over dinner the other night, Nate and I got to talking about those dating reality shows we binge—Married at First Sight and Ready for Love. One thing we couldn’t help but notice? Most of the folks on there nowadays aren’t in their 20s. They’re in their 40s, just like us. And that hit different.
See, finding love in your 40s is a whole different experience. You’re not just “dating.” You’re navigating life with decades of habits, preferences, and independence under your belt. You know who you are. You’ve got your routines. You’ve worked hard to build peace, structure, and comfort into your life—and then someone new walks in with their own entire blueprint.
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I’m neat to a fault. Like, I need things in order to function. But what happens if they leave dishes in the sink overnight without a second thought? Or if I work 9-to-5 and they’re on a completely different schedule, working nights and weekends? Suddenly you’re trying to merge two lives that were fully formed before you ever met.
And that’s not even touching on emotional needs. Imagine coming home from a long day and hearing, “Why weren’t you here with me? I felt alone.” Love at this age isn’t about butterflies—it’s about compatibility and compromise.
That’s why I’m deeply grateful Nate and I started our journey young. We married early and got the chance to grow into ourselves together. When you’re in your 20s, you're still figuring life out—jobs, cities, ambitions. You’re more flexible. You’re more likely to say, “Sure, let’s try that.” But when you’ve built a business, a home, and a routine in your 40s, change isn’t that easy. You can’t just say, “Let me drop everything and move to Paraguay for three months,” like those reality show folks do.
Compatibility Isn’t Optional—It’s the Foundation
During our chat, Nate brought up something powerful—how love alone isn’t enough. You need alignment. Your values, your faith, how you parent, how you fight, how you forgive—those things matter more than sparks. If one of you believes in tough discipline and the other wants gentle parenting, that's not a small disagreement. That's a potential storm.
And the truth? In marriage, you won’t always agree. Nate jokes that he’s the adventurous one, and I’m the chill one. He’ll say, “I’ll go explore—don’t worry!” But let’s be real—if I don’t join, he usually stays back, too. And that made us realize: it’s not just about going places together—it’s about creating shared memories.
He once told me, “Nobody wants to make memories alone. I’d rather sit on a beach with you doing absolutely nothing than go skydiving by myself.” And honestly, that moment stuck with me.
The Quiet Threats That Can Break a Marriage
It’s easy to spot certain red flags in relationships, like anger. But you know what’s sneakier? A lack of forgiveness. That quiet, creeping bitterness. It builds slowly, and before you know it, love turns into exhaustion.
If someone can’t let go of the past, that tension lingers like an unspoken weight. And over time, it wears you down. You begin to feel like you’re sleeping beside a stranger. You start thinking, “How did we get here?” And by then, the damage is harder to undo.
Why TV Love Isn’t Real Love
Now don’t get me wrong—we love watching Married at First Sight. We sit there making guesses about who will last. But if we’re being honest? Most of them don’t. They say “yes” on Decision Day, but what comes after is the real test—and reality TV doesn’t show you that.
You’re thrown into eight weeks of filming, romance, and guided conversations. But when the cameras turn off and real life comes calling—jobs, bills, family drama, personal growth—that’s when you find out what your marriage is really made of.
Marriage Takes Real Work
No one talks enough about the day after happily ever after. The hard conversations. The moments you feel unseen. The choices you make when you don’t feel in love. That’s what real marriage looks like.
It takes patience. It takes sacrifice. It takes two people saying yes to each other, not just on a special day—but every day.
So now I want to hear from y’all—what do you think about what Blove shared? Has love in your 40s been what you expected? Drop your thoughts below. Let’s grow and learn together.
