Some time ago, Nate and I sat down over hummus and crackers, having one of those heart-to-heart conversations only parents can have when watching their grown children navigate love and loss. We talked about Dalvin and Ellie—how their relationship ended, and what we had seen, felt, and learned along the way. Now, with distance and time offering clarity, I feel ready to revisit the journey from a more honest, reflective place.
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What We Knew Back Then
When Ellie released a video explaining the breakup, we watched it as parents—not as people who knew every detail, because we didn’t. Dalvin is private by nature. He doesn’t pick up the phone to vent or spill his heart. If you want to know something, you’ve got to pull it out of him, and even then, he’ll only share what he chooses. It was clear even then: we only had a fragment of the full story.
Our Feelings About Ellie
I said it before and I’ll say it again—I was deeply disappointed when they parted ways. Ellie is the kind of woman you pray your son finds. Kind-hearted, strong, gracious—she's what people call "marriage material." Dalvin, in my view, had dropped the ball on something beautiful. She was the kind of partner who brought balance to his personality. That type of connection doesn’t come around often.
But what I respected most about Ellie was her strength. She knew her worth. She had the courage to walk away when she felt unfulfilled. As a woman, I deeply admire that. I wouldn't stay in a place where I wasn’t valued or happy either—and I respect any woman who makes that choice for herself.
With Time Comes Clarity
Looking back, everything I felt in that moment has proven true. Ellie did bounce back—and in the most powerful, beautiful way. She’s thriving. She didn’t let the breakup define her; she let it elevate her. And Dalvin? He’s grown. He’s more thoughtful, more grounded, and slowly stepping into a deeper sense of who he is. Maybe this was God’s plan all along. Sometimes, we have to lose something to grow into who we were meant to become.
Parenting from a Distance
Nate and I have always believed in a “bird’s eye” approach when it comes to our children’s relationships. We watch from afar. We listen. But we don’t insert ourselves unless we’re asked. These are their relationships—not ours. It’s easy to get emotionally invested, but we remind ourselves: just because someone is here today doesn’t mean they’re here forever.
That said, we truly did root for Dalvin and Ellie. They were both nearly 30, and we believed in their potential as a couple. We wanted it to work—but we also knew that some things just aren’t meant to last.
Lessons from Marriage
Over the years, our own marriage has taught us one undeniable truth: opposites may attract, but shared values keep you together. Nate and I couldn’t be more different. I’m the free spirit. He used to be the planner who had to control everything. But what anchors us is our shared faith. That common ground is what steadies the waves when life gets stormy.
The Problem with Speed
I remember thinking their relationship moved too quickly. They were living together before even knowing what it really meant to build a life side by side. Dalvin later admitted it himself—he wasn’t ready. Emotionally, mentally—he needed more time. And now, looking back, I see it wasn’t failure. It was a necessary lesson: the foundation matters more than the facade.
When Predictions Come True
I once told Dalvin, “It’s not easy to find someone like Ellie.” I warned him he might look back one day and realize she was the one that got away. And truthfully, that moment came. Quietly. Gradually. He realized it.
But what matters more is what he chose to do after. I encouraged him to pause, to reflect, to heal—not just jump into the next thing. And he listened. That process of doing the hard internal work? That’s the part I’m most proud of.
Trusting God’s Plan
As parents, we do all we can. We raise our children with love, guidance, values. But eventually, we hand them over to God. And sometimes, His answers to our prayers look nothing like we expected. Sometimes, they take years. But when we look back, it all makes sense.
Now, with the benefit of hindsight, I believe everything unfolded exactly as it should. They both became better, stronger, wiser versions of themselves.
Final Thoughts – Growth Over Grief
Just like I suspected, both Dalvin and Ellie are okay—more than okay. Ellie is thriving. She’s beautiful, intelligent, and overflowing with potential. She didn’t just recover—she rose. And Dalvin? He didn’t run from the pain. He sat with it. He worked through it. He grew.
What we once saw as a painful ending may have actually been a divine redirection. Sometimes, losing what we thought we needed leads us to exactly what we really need.
And let me be clear—we’ve never excused Dalvin just because he’s our son. Right is right. Wrong is wrong. There’s only one truth. And that truth stands firm in the eyes of God.
