The whole thing began with a hilarious story Darius shared about a rather unforgettable moment at the airport restroom. He was simply washing his hands when he noticed a man behind him using the urinal. At first, the man let out a quiet little fart—nothing too crazy. Darius thought to himself, “Alright, no big deal.” But then, to his surprise, the man let out another one, louder this time. And just when Darius was about to dry his hands and make his exit, the man let loose in full force—non-stop farting, like a symphony of disaster echoing through the restroom. It went from mildly awkward to downright shocking in a matter of seconds.
My husband couldn’t help but jump into the conversation, chuckling as he declared that farting while peeing is totally normal for men. Apparently, it’s just something that happens, no big deal. But Darius and I weren’t convinced. We both agreed that if you know you're about to release something that loud or intense, the polite thing to do would be to excuse yourself to a private stall. My husband disagreed strongly. He looked at us and said, “You can’t tell me where to fart. If I need to go, I’ll go. That’s literally what a restroom is for.”
That sparked a fun and surprisingly insightful conversation about the stark differences between men’s and women’s restrooms. As women, we’re used to needing more privacy because we always sit down—whether it’s for number one or number two. There’s a certain level of comfort and modesty we expect in that space. Men, on the other hand, typically stand and seem to be far less concerned about privacy. My husband even shared a story about a public restroom he once used that had one long urinal trough, with absolutely no dividers. The idea alone made me cringe. I told him straight up that to me, that sounded completely uncivilized. How is anyone supposed to feel comfortable in that kind of setup?
From there, the conversation shifted to one of my personal horror zones—portable restrooms. I confessed that I absolutely refuse to go number two in one. I don’t care how bad the situation is—I will hold it. Those things are dirty, there’s no proper flush, and worst of all, if someone comes in right after you, the gross water inside splashes up like a mini geyser. Just the thought of it gives me chills. Darius chimed in to say he had never even used a portable toilet before, and I honestly couldn’t blame him.
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We kept the laughter going as we remembered a ridiculous YouTube video of a guy who mistook a urinal for a sink. He was seriously standing there, washing his hands in it like it was the most normal thing in the world. A woman nearby saw what was happening and gave him a strange look before gently informing him that he was, in fact, washing his hands in a urinal. The poor man was mortified, and we couldn’t help but laugh until our sides hurt.
And of course, no bathroom conversation would be complete without bringing up the classic “pants-down-to-the-ankles” situation. Darius brought up an old memory from elementary school—a kid named Jared Howard who used to pull his pants all the way down at the urinal. Every time he did it, the other boys would scatter, not wanting to be anywhere near that awkward scene. My husband nodded knowingly and explained that some guys do it to keep their pants from getting caught or wet. He even referenced that iconic and hilarious scene from There’s Something About Mary, which had us all cracking up.
By the end of the car ride, we were in stitches. We laughed so hard our stomachs hurt. It was one of those priceless family moments where everyone felt completely at ease—just being silly, sharing weird stories, and enjoying each other’s company. We didn’t hold back, we didn’t filter ourselves, and we were all just present in the joy of being together.
