Today, Darius and I sat down over some Korean fried chicken, but like always, the conversation stretched way beyond the food. What started as a casual meal turned into one of those moments that really makes you think, reflect, and reevaluate.
On Issues Within the Community
As we ate, we touched on something heavy — why it sometimes feels like our Black community puts more energy into criticizing someone’s sexuality than into protecting our children from real harm. That truth stings. It breaks my heart to see judgment come so quickly when it comes to who someone loves, yet silence often follows when it comes to protecting our kids from those who are supposed to be their guardians. That’s a cycle our generation has to break.
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On Homophobia and Its Impact
We also dug into how homophobia has created a culture of secrecy. Too many men have felt forced to live double lives, hiding their truth. And when someone can’t be who they really are, that doesn’t just affect them — it ripples through families, relationships, and communities. I’m not excusing dishonesty in relationships, but we also can’t ignore the environment that pressures people into hiding. That environment is ours to change.
On Anger and Emotional Control
Another important point we discussed was emotions. Society often labels women as “more emotional,” but truth be told, many men struggle deeply with anger — an emotion that, if unchecked, can turn destructive. Darius and I both agreed we’re blessed in that area. We rarely allow anger to control us, because we’ve learned the value of peace. And honestly, most situations just aren’t worth the energy it takes to get mad.
The Power of the “Zoom Out” Mindset
One of my favorite takeaways was the idea of zooming out. Before reacting, pause and ask yourself: “Is this really worth it?” Nine times out of ten, it isn’t. That one mindset shift could reduce so much unnecessary conflict in our lives. If more people adopted it, we’d see less violence, fewer grudges, and more space for growth.
On Body Shaming and Hypocrisy
We couldn’t ignore the double standards around body image either. It’s crazy how people will shame someone for being overweight, tell them to “go to the gym,” then mock them once they actually start going. Or they’ll demand brands make activewear for all sizes but criticize those same brands for including plus-size options. It’s pure hypocrisy. What exactly do people expect? Disappear until you fit their narrow standards? That mindset helps no one.
On Work and Family Balance
We ended our talk on a lighter but equally important note — family. Darius has always put family first, and I admire that about him. We both understand hard work; long 16-hour days aren’t unusual for us. But no matter how demanding life gets, family time is non-negotiable. That balance is what keeps us grounded.
Final Reflections
Walking away from today’s conversation, I felt a stronger pull to focus on what truly matters. We need to stop tearing each other down and start listening with empathy. We need to question the habits that keep us stuck, zoom out when life feels overwhelming, and remember that love and respect will always carry us further than judgment and criticism.
At the end of the day, if we can learn to lift one another up instead of pulling each other apart, we’ll not only grow as individuals but also as a community.
