Today, I want to share something deeply personal and transformative—what it means to submit to your husband in marriage. This is a lesson I’ve learned over many years of being married, and it’s one that continues to evolve with time.
In the early stages of my marriage, I had no clue how to serve my husband effectively. It wasn’t something I was born knowing; it was a skill I had to develop and embrace slowly. I came to realize that submission, just like respect, is something that can shift and change over time in a marriage. Just as a husband’s respect for his wife can wane, submission can feel like a challenge when the dynamics shift. There are moments when we might feel hurt and ask, “Why should I cook for you when you’re not treating me the same way anymore?”
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But everything changes when you view marriage through the lens of faith. When you begin to see serving your husband as an act of obedience before God, it transforms your perspective. In regular relationships, couples often create their own set of rules. But in a Christian marriage, our guidance comes from God’s Word. Ultimately, we’re accountable to Him both individually and as a couple.
Over the years, I’ve found joy in serving my husband. I love cooking for him and taking care of things because he consistently does so much for me in return. Marriage is a cycle of giving and receiving. But this hasn’t been easy to get to—it’s been a journey of learning and growing together. At times, we need to be reminded through prayer, asking the Holy Spirit to help us—“Lord, guide me.” We stumble, we make mistakes, but we have to be willing to forgive, to extend grace, and to keep moving forward.
Submission is not just about preparing meals or doing chores. It’s about trusting your husband to lead the family with wisdom and integrity, knowing that he is accountable to God. For many women, this is a difficult step. We can be strong-willed, assertive, and full of opinions. I know I am. I speak my mind when I disagree with something, but always with respect. It’s never about shouting or acting out, but about having a conversation with my husband, trusting that what he says is rooted in God’s guidance or his sincere desire for what’s best for our family.
At times, I may share my thoughts and ideas with him, and he listens—sometimes agreeing, sometimes offering his own perspective. It’s a delicate balance we’ve learned over the years. He values my intuition and wisdom, especially because I’ve been blessed with a gift of discernment. He knows that I can often sense things about people or situations that others might miss, so he listens carefully before making decisions. And sometimes, he comes back to me and says, “You were right about that.”
This dynamic—of respecting one another’s insights and leadership—is key in our relationship. Marriage is not about perfection, but about teamwork. We both lead in different ways. I’ve always been a leader, and we’ve been working together since we first met at work. We’ve built businesses, run a daycare, and pursued various ventures side by side. But working together isn’t always easy. Sometimes it leaves little room for pushback, and can add stress to our marriage.
Yet, through it all, we’ve learned that the foundation of a strong marriage is trust. Trust that, even when we disagree or face challenges, we are committed to supporting each other. We have come to understand that submission isn’t a weakness—it’s a choice. A choice to trust, to respect, and to build a life together under God’s guidance.
In the end, submission is not about surrendering to control or losing your voice—it’s about trusting the person you chose to spend your life with, knowing that as long as we both seek God’s will, we will find our way together.
