Hey everyone, it’s Tae.
I’ve hesitated for a long time before sitting down to write this. Not because I didn’t have anything to say—but because some truths, once spoken, can’t be taken back. Still, if I didn’t say them now, I knew I’d be carrying a weight I couldn’t release. A weight that doesn’t just belong to me—but to everyone who ever rooted for us, who watched us grow together, love each other, and eventually… fall apart.
How Long Has It Been?
It’s been about half a year since Lou and I officially broke up. Maybe five months. Maybe six. Honestly, it feels much longer than that.
This is the first time we’ve sat down face-to-face and spoken openly about what happened. And to be honest, it’s scary. Not because we’re angry at each other—far from it. But because telling the truth requires vulnerability. And we’re finally ready for that.
Why Are We Doing This?
We’ve seen so many people try to tell our story for us. Small channels. Big assumptions. Half-truths. And for the longest time, we stayed quiet. We let the rumors live because we weren’t ready to speak. But now, we are.
This isn’t a blame game. It’s not about who hurt who worse. It’s not about “he said, she said.” This is about two people who loved each other deeply—and still do in many ways—but realized they couldn’t keep going the way they were.
We’re telling this story now because we owe it to ourselves, and to those who followed our journey, to tell the truth. Fully. Transparently.
So… Why Did We Break Up?
From my side, it comes down to this: I gave a lot. I sacrificed a lot. I left my home, moved states, distanced myself from my support system—all so Lou could be close to her family and her daughter. And I don’t regret that. I loved her enough to make those moves.
But as time went on, I started to feel alone. Isolated. I had no friends nearby. No familiar faces. My entire world revolved around her—and when she wasn’t okay with me, I felt like I had no one. That isolation grew heavy, and I didn’t know how to handle it.
Eventually, I found myself going to the casino—not to gamble, necessarily, but just to be around people. It became the only social space I had. But as you can imagine, that turned into something unhealthy. I chased the thrill to fill the loneliness, and when I lost, I came home bitter, empty, frustrated. And she was already dealing with her own pain. It became a cycle—one that neither of us could escape.
What Was Lou Going Through?
Lou, on her end, was battling something darker. She lost herself. She told me that openly. That she introduced a version of herself to me that she didn’t know how to maintain. That she was sinking deeper into depression and couldn’t love me—or even herself—the way she needed to.
She shut down. She drank. Night after night, alone in the room, music playing, bottle in hand. I could hear her crying. And I didn’t know what to do. She wasn’t able to show up for our relationship anymore—not emotionally, not as a partner, and eventually, not even professionally.
We were full-time YouTubers. But how could we film together when we couldn’t even talk to each other? We weren’t even sleeping in the same room for the last year of our relationship. We weren’t living—we were just surviving.
The Breaking Point
And then, one day, she left. It wasn’t planned. It wasn’t discussed. It was impulsive. Emotional. Sudden.
And I was devastated.
I stayed in a place I had moved to for her—alone, surrounded by memories, stuck with the lease, the responsibilities, the silence. I didn’t even know how to start over. I had built my entire world around her.
Yes, I grew resentful. Yes, I pulled away. Yes, I said things I regret. But at the heart of it all, I was just hurting.
So Where Are We Now?
This is the first real conversation we’ve had about our breakup. In person. Unfiltered. In front of you.
There were so many moments near the end where one of us tried to “snap out of it” and save us—but the other person just wasn’t ready. We were always out of sync. One foot in, one foot out.
We both made mistakes. We both loved hard. And we both lost pieces of ourselves in the process.
Lou is still my friend. I care about her. I always will. But we had to let each other go to begin healing.
Final Thoughts
If you were hoping for a scandal or someone to blame—sorry to disappoint. There was no cheating. No betrayal. Just two broken people trying their best to hold on… and realizing they needed to let go.
Thank you for giving us space to share this, and thank you for respecting our silence until now.
This isn’t the end of the story. But it is the end of this chapter.
– Tae
