Hello everyone,
After a long absence from YouTube, I’m back with perhaps the most important story of my life—about wanting to have a child at the age of 36.
Big Changes in Life
First, I want to update you on my situation. After being stuck in Delaware for six years, I finally left and am now settled in Miami. This may not be the best decision for someone like me—who has lived a secluded life—but at least it’s exciting.
I’m currently living in a rented house with my three “kids”—a dog named Honey and two cats, Midnight and Missy. And most importantly, I am currently single.
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Fears in Love
Honestly, I’m very scared. Scared to love someone, scared to trust, scared to open my heart to others. I’ve been through many difficult situations off-camera that I want to leave behind. I want my 2025 to start positively, but I still have to admit that I’m in the process of healing.
The Desire to Be a Mother
And this is why I’m back—I need to have a child, like, yesterday! At 36, I can’t “accidentally” have a child like many other lucky people. I need to be intentional, plan, and make decisions.
For a long time, I’ve dreamed of being in love and having a child with someone I love. But life hasn’t worked out that way. It’s not that I don’t believe in love anymore; it’s just that I don’t know if I can find love in time before “my eggs run out.”
A Difficult Decision
There is someone in my life—who pulled me out of depression, is my business partner, and the closest friend I could have. And now, I might ruin this relationship by asking her if she wants to “co-parent” a child with me.
I really don’t know what I’m doing, but what’s the worst that could happen? She could just say no.
The Fateful Call
I decided to call London—what I usually call her. Hearing her voice made me extremely anxious. I invited her over to talk about something important and emphasized that this wasn’t a joke—I was completely serious.
She agreed to come in 20 minutes, and I started panicking for real.
Final Thoughts
London is only 30, she wants a son, is currently single but still has time to find a partner. I, on the other hand, am “running out of time.” She is a wonderful woman—possibly “out of my league”—but that’s exactly what the future mother of my child needs to be. They need to be better than me.
I completely accept if she says no. This is an incredibly big decision, and I don’t expect her to make it immediately. What worries me most is making our relationship awkward. I tend to make everything awkward.
The Final Surprise
But life always has surprises. London had to postpone the meeting to the next day due to something urgent in Fort Lauderdale. And I have to wait another 24 hours to hear the answer.
Sometimes you just want to know—yes or no—so you can move forward. And I’m that kind of person.
I feel grateful that there is at least one person I can ask this. Whatever the outcome, I respect her decision. See you tomorrow for an update.
Wishing for the best!
