Today, I had one of the most thought-provoking conversations with my son, Darius—one that left me both proud and reflective. We talked about marriage, children, discipline, and even dogs—but beneath the surface, it was really a glimpse into the kind of man and father he aspires to be.
Darius shared that when it comes to marriage, he’s in no rush. He wants to date someone for three to four years before even thinking about tying the knot. "I just don’t want to rush into something and then end up divorced," he said. There was a quiet maturity in his voice that struck me. He’s looking for something built to last.
He also envisions having two children—ideally a boy and a girl, but he’d be just as happy with two boys. He wants them close in age, about two years apart, so they can grow up together, side by side.
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But what truly surprised me—and moved me—was his firm belief in never spanking his children. As a student of psychology, he feels strongly that there are healthier, more effective ways to guide and discipline kids. "I want to break the cycle," he told me. "There’s too much normalized physical punishment in our community. It has to stop somewhere." I challenged him a bit—wondering if he might be too soft—but Darius held his ground. "Every child is different, Mom," he said. "You have to meet them where they are."
He also brought up something that resonated deeply: he doesn’t want his older child to carry the burden of parenting the younger one. It’s a common dynamic in many families, especially in ours, but Darius wants his kids to enjoy being kids—nothing more, nothing less.
Even when we drifted into lighter topics like pets, his thoughtful nature was still front and center. He doesn’t want a dog in the house until his kids are at least seven. He’s concerned about safety, about responsibility, and about the reality that having a dog is a lot like having another child. I suggested maybe getting a dog before the kids come along, but he gently pushed back—concerned that a pet’s lifespan might not line up with his parenting journey. "It’s a big commitment, and I want to do it right," he said.
What I took away from this conversation was more than just his plans—it was his heart. He’s already putting so much thought into how to raise his future family with love, mindfulness, and intention. Our parenting styles may differ, but the foundation he's building is strong.
We laughed at the end, teasing that when his kids misbehave, it’ll be me who has to set them straight since he’ll be too lenient. But deep down, I know he’s going to be an incredible father—compassionate, present, and wise.
Every generation carves its own path, and Darius is on his. I may not agree with every choice, but I respect it. And more than anything, I’m proud of the man he’s becoming.
