Today, I had one of the most honest and deeply emotional conversations I’ve ever shared with my son. It all began with something as small as the way he expresses himself—his love for handbags, his painted nails, his bold confidence in wearing heels. But the moment we sat down and talked, I realized it wasn’t really about fashion at all. It was about identity. About truth. And about what unconditional love is supposed to look like.
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As a mother, I’m not ashamed to admit that this journey hasn’t always been simple. I had to unlearn things I grew up hearing. I had to challenge the beliefs I thought were absolute. And most importantly, I had to sit with my own discomfort long enough to understand where it came from. No book could’ve prepared me for this. But loving your child means stepping into their world with an open mind and a willing heart.
When my son came out, I didn’t have perfect answers. I didn’t instantly know what to say. I had fears, confusion, and biases I didn’t even realize I carried. But little by little, those layers peeled away—and what was left was something fierce and steady: acceptance. And beyond that, a level of support that will never crack, no matter who has something to say. Because real love doesn’t buckle under pressure. Real love doesn’t judge. Real love grows.
During our conversation today, he shared what it feels like to live at the intersection of being both Black and gay. He talked about the loneliness—feeling like he’s “too gay” for the Black community, yet “too Black” for the LGBTQ+ community. That kind of in-between space? It’s a heavy place to exist. And no one should ever have to stand there alone.
What broke my heart the most was learning how many LGBTQ+ kids are rejected by their families, left homeless, left hurting, left without anyone to turn to. Some don’t survive. When I saw the statistics, when I read the stories—you can’t just turn away afterward. These are our children. And they’re dying because the people who were meant to love them couldn’t see past their own fears.
I started researching shelters, organizations, and safe spaces that protect LGBTQ+ youth—especially kids who’ve been abandoned. What I found was painful, but it also gave me hope. There are people fighting for these kids. But we need more parents stepping up at home so these kids don’t need saving in the first place.
So if you’re a parent, a sibling, or someone who loves a person finding the courage to live in their truth, please hear this: love should never require conditions. Our children are not supposed to audition for our acceptance. They need to feel loved—consistently, openly, and without fear of being replaced or rejected.
Let go of the fear. Push through the discomfort. Educate yourself. Ask questions. Sit with the parts you don’t understand. And then—stand with them. Fully, loudly, proudly.
Because the greatest gift we can give our children isn’t perfection. It’s presence. It’s protection. It’s a love that says:
“I see you. I hear you. And no matter what, I will always choose you.”
Listen. Learn. Love.
That’s how we break the cycle.
That’s how we build something better.
