When I was pregnant with Darius, my body went through a dramatic change. I gained a lot of weight—so much more compared to when I was carrying Devin. It was a transformation I wasn’t fully prepared for. After giving birth, I wanted desperately to get back to a healthier version of myself, so I started trying out different diets. One after another, I jumped from plan to plan, hoping that something would finally click. But every time I thought I had found the answer, I realized it wasn’t sustainable for me in the long run.
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During that season of my life, my husband couldn’t really grasp the struggle I was facing. He had always been naturally slim, never having to worry about food choices or how his body responded. So when he saw me constantly shifting from one diet to another, he would look at me with confusion and say, “You’ve already tried so many diets, why can’t you just pick one and stick with it?” To him, it seemed simple. To me, it felt like I was carrying an invisible weight he couldn’t see. I tried to explain to him that dieting is not just about willpower—it’s about finding what actually works for your unique body, your hormones, your lifestyle, and even your mindset. But at that time, he just didn’t get it.
Then life gave him a lesson. For the first time, he gained weight himself, and suddenly the roles were reversed. He decided to go on a diet, confident that he would be able to handle it with no problem. But within weeks, he realized how mentally and physically exhausting it really was. He found himself struggling, frustrated, and craving the foods he thought he could easily give up. One day he came to me, looked me straight in the eye, and said, “Babe, I’m sorry. I really didn’t know it was this hard.” That moment was powerful because it wasn’t just about weight—it was about understanding. He finally saw what I had been trying to tell him all along: that dieting is not a quick fix. It’s a journey filled with trial, error, patience, and a lot of grace.
Here’s something I’ve learned and want to emphasize: being overweight does not automatically mean being unhealthy. People love to make assumptions based on body size, but health is so much more complex than that. I’ve met people who are bigger yet have strong hearts, balanced nutrition, and active lifestyles—and I’ve also seen thinner people who struggle with hidden health conditions. Weight is influenced by so many factors we can’t always see: genetics, metabolism, hormones, mental health, emotional triggers, and daily habits. That’s why we need to stop judging health purely based on appearance. You cannot measure a person’s worth, strength, or well-being just by looking at their body.
The real conversation we should be having isn’t about chasing a number on the scale—it’s about learning to care for ourselves in a way that honors both body and mind. It’s about balance, not punishment. It’s about finding ways to move, eat, and rest that truly work for you. Most importantly, it’s about compassion—for yourself and for others.
My husband’s experience taught both of us a valuable lesson. Struggles that may seem small from the outside can feel overwhelming when you’re actually living through them. That’s why empathy matters. Sometimes we don’t need someone to “fix” us or give advice—we just need them to listen, support us, and walk alongside us while we figure it out.
So here’s what I want to leave you with: be gentle with yourself, and be kind to others. You never really know what someone is carrying, whether it’s extra pounds, emotional battles, or silent fears. Instead of judging their journey, respect it. Instead of assuming you know their story, choose to understand that every body is different.
And maybe ask yourself this: the next time you feel the urge to comment on someone’s weight or appearance, what if you shifted that energy into offering them encouragement instead? Sometimes a kind word is far more powerful than any diet plan.
