Darius and I had another one of those deep mama-son talks today, the kind where I sit back and ask myself: What are we really doing with this whole college thing? And I know this ain’t the popular opinion—but I’mma say it anyway: college, for a lot of folks, is a beautiful-looking trap. Yup, I said it. Hear me out before you start clutching your pearls.
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College can be valuable. If you’re going into medicine, law, engineering—go for it. No arguments there. But what about everyone else? The ones walking away with tens of thousands in debt and no job in sight. They got degrees collecting dust while they clock in at Amazon or flip burgers just to survive. That’s not a pathway to success—that’s a system built to make you believe you failed when really, the system failed you.
I’ve been blessed enough to afford Darius’s tuition, but let’s be real—most students out here hustling between class, rent, ramen, and trying not to drown in loneliness or stress. And some of them do drown. The pressure leads to burnout, drinking, dropping out. You spend four years racing to a finish line that don’t even guarantee a job. Then they hit you with the classic line: “Sorry, we need experience.” How, sway, if this is my first real job?
Sometimes I wonder if we should’ve looked harder at HBCUs. I had my fears—Darius being Black and LGBTQ—I worried about acceptance. But now? I think he would’ve felt more at home culturally. He told me that his Black student union barely even functions where he is. He feels alone. Still, I know HBCUs got their challenges too—outdated dorms, funding issues. It’s never just one story.
Then there’s the bigger issue—how school itself is changing. We’ve traded real learning for Google and gadgets. Back in my day, we memorized phone numbers, read maps, cracked dictionaries. Now? I can’t even recite my own kid’s number. Everything’s a tap or swipe away. Our brains aren’t muscles anymore—they’re storage units for passwords and playlists.
And let’s not even start on AI. Darius told me half his classmates let bots do their homework. What’s the point of studying if the machine can think for you? Look, I use AI too. But if we lean on it for everything, where’s the human creativity? The problem-solving? The hustle?
I'm scared, y’all. Scared for what comes next. Robots ain’t sci-fi anymore—they’re your Uber, your cashier, your babysitter. Self-driving cars. Hologram meetings. That future? It’s now. And if our kids ain’t learning tech, they’ll be left watching from the sidelines. That’s why my husband and I are taking AI and coding classes. Because this wave? You either ride it or get swept under.
So here’s what I tell young folks: learn tech. Period. Learn how to build the world you’re living in. And while you’re at it? Take a few business classes too. I don’t care what your major is—business gives you the tools to own your path, not just walk someone else’s. This generation needs to be more than just dreamers—they need to be builders.
And maybe—just maybe—take a few years off after high school. Grow up a little. Travel, work, breathe. Figure out who you really are before you pick a career based on a catalog. Don’t let the world rush you into signing loans for a life you ain’t even dreamed of yet.
This ain’t about tearing down college—it’s about telling the truth, out loud, so our kids can make wiser choices than we did.
