While my husband and I were enjoying a seafood boil and watching Married at First Sight, we got into a deep conversation about arranged marriages and the role physical attraction plays in relationships. Here are my thoughts on that topic.
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Married at First Sight vs. Traditional Marriage
You know, Married at First Sight really flips the usual dating process upside down. Normally, when we’re out in the real world, we notice someone we’re attracted to — you know, the physical side of things. Women notice muscles, certain features we like more than others. That’s usually what catches our attention before we even get to know a person.
But Married at First Sight does the complete opposite. They match you based on what you tell them — your values, beliefs, and lifestyle — and then expect you to work backward to find chemistry. That’s what they want you to do, but it simply doesn’t always work that way.
How Real Arranged Marriages Work
Now, I’ve got to say this — around the world, many people enter arranged marriages, and it’s done very differently. I actually know some people who’ve been through it, and their approach is something else.
They have experts who pair two people together — I don’t know exactly how they do it — but somehow, they really match them well. These couples might have to learn how to love each other because they haven’t met before, but you know what? It works. It really works for some.
The Problem with Chris — and Men Like Him
But let’s be honest — Chris is the type of man who’s all about looks. He’s a visual guy. And to be real with you, most men are. Men are naturally visual beings — that’s just the truth.
Balancing Outer and Inner Beauty
Now don’t get me wrong — that doesn’t mean men ignore everything else about a woman. My husband said it best: he loves seeing me as his beautiful wife, but he also values my intelligence, instincts, drive, energy, and faith. Those things matter deeply to him — they make me whole in his eyes.
But at the same time, he wants to enjoy looking at me. He doesn’t want to have to convince himself that “she’s smart, driven, successful, and has so many great qualities” just to make up for a lack of physical attraction.
Advice for Anyone Considering Married at First Sight
Here’s my advice: if you know you might not be physically attracted to someone, don’t go on Married at First Sight. You haven’t seen what the person looks like! Or, at the very least, be upfront with the producers — tell them, “Physical attraction matters to me. Here’s the type I’m drawn to.”
Otherwise, you’ll end up in a situation like Chris and Paige — where the lack of chemistry destroys everything else, no matter how amazing the person might be inside.
Final Thoughts
Married at First Sight goes completely against how we naturally form connections. And while traditional arranged marriages can work when handled the right way, this show expects you to find chemistry after the fact — and that’s not always realistic.
Those are my thoughts. What do you think? Do you believe it’s possible to learn to love someone you weren’t attracted to at first? Let me know your opinion!
