Hey beautiful people! Today I wanna sit down and talk heart-to-heart with you about something real. Not the stuff you see in movies, not what people pretend to post online… but the real-life journey of keeping a marriage alive after decades together. I'm talking 25 years y'all. That’s not a small number.
Let’s be honest – in the beginning, it was all butterflies and fireworks. Me and my man? Whew! We were like two love-crazy bunnies. All day. All night. Two, three times a day wasn’t enough. If you’ve ever been in that stage, you know exactly what I mean. 😄
But as the years pass, life happens. Kids, jobs, stress, hormones, bills, exhaustion... And suddenly, that wild passion slows down. It’s no longer about how often, but how connected. We used to go three times a day – now it’s more like three times a week (on a good week). But hear me out, queens: just because the frequency changes, doesn’t mean the flame has to die.
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So here’s something I live by. I call it my “Two S” rule:
👉 Stomach full, S-a-c-k empty.
Y’all feel me? 😂 Feed him right, love him right. It’s that simple. A happy man is a satisfied man.
Look, I won’t lie. There are weeks when I’m tired, hormonal, or just not feeling it. But I’ve learned that intimacy isn’t just about s-e-x – it’s about connection, communication, and commitment.
Three times a week feels right for us. But hey, every couple is different. Some of y’all might be at four times, others once or twice. There’s no “one-size-fits-all” – as long as it works for both of you, it’s valid!
Now let’s talk about the fun part. Just because we’ve been married for decades doesn’t mean we stop exploring. Me and hubby made a deal: no boring bedrooms!
Here’s what we’ve tried:
Bought a K-a-m-a S-u-t-r-a book (don’t knock it till you read it!)
Tried themed couple g-a-m-e-s (Amazon has a lot of fun ones 😏)
Changed up locations, lighting, even music – small changes make a big difference
Scheduled "us time" like date nights – because grown folks need playtime too!
Ladies, don’t be afraid to surprise him. Put on something new. Whisper something bold. Touch him like it’s the first time again. Marriage doesn't kill romance – neglect does.
I’m opening up because I want to hear from you too. How often is “healthy” in your relationship? Some people say four times a week is optimal. Others say once a week is fine.
Let’s stop pretending like we don’t think about it. These convos matter. Our relationships deserve honesty, not silence.
My husband? He’s got a very strong drive. He’s been that way since day one. I could just be walking past and suddenly he’s ready. 😅 I know I’m not the only wife with a man like that – y’all better not leave me hanging in these comments!
What I really wonder is… when does it all slow down?
Like, for real – after 50 years together, are couples still doing it? What about age 60? 70?
If you’re older and still living that married life, please share your wisdom. When does the desire fade? Or does it? Do men ever really say, “I’m good, I don’t want it anymore”? ‘Cause I haven’t seen that happen yet! 😂
I’m 49 now, and yes – I’ve stepped into the post-m-e-n-o-p-a-u-s-e phase. But let me tell y’all something: it doesn’t mean you’re done being a woman.
I take A-m-b-e-r-e-n to help with sleep, mood swings, and b-l-o-a-t-i-n-g. I also added c-a-l-c-i-u-m and m-a-g-n-e-s-i-u-m into my daily routine – and girl, it’s been life-changing. I feel like myself again!
But real talk… I’ve heard that dryness becomes a thing. You know, down there. My question is: when exactly does the “w-e-l-l” run dry? 👀 That’s not shade – that’s a real, grown woman question. If you know, drop a comment. Let’s stop whispering about things we ALL go through.
💬 Let’s talk. For real.
How do YOU keep your relationship alive after 10, 20, even 30 years? What are your tricks, your struggles, your truth? I wanna learn from y’all, laugh with y’all, and maybe even cry a little too.
Because marriage ain’t easy – but when it's right, it’s the most beautiful thing in the world. 💕
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