Sitting in the car outside Red Robin, our conversation unexpectedly shifted to a sensitive but fascinating topic—love, dating, and relationship standards. As a mother, I’ve always been curious about my son’s thoughts on these matters.
( If you enjoyed this post and want to try the ingredients and tools that helped shape the Bloveslife brand, feel free to check them out below! Every view or purchase you make is a way of supporting Blove’s passion and dedication to the community.
- 7.5 Quart Cast Iron Dutch Oven: https://amzn.to/4dcUqms
- Lodge Pre-seasoned Cast Iron Skillet: https://amzn.to/3TyyMSA
- Bamboo Seasonings Box with Mini Spoon: https://amzn.to/4dfHzA6 )
On Height and Dating Standards
“Do you care about height?” I asked Darius bluntly.
“Not really,” he answered. “You know I’m only 5’3”—I don’t exactly have the luxury of being picky about height. Almost every guy is taller than me.”
That made me pause. It’s true—our African-American family is on the shorter side. I’m 5’3”, Darius is 5’3”, and only Dalvin is a bit taller. “What’s the average male height?” I asked.
“About 5’9”—that’s Dalvin’s height,” Darius replied. “So statistically, most guys I meet will be taller than me.”
We kept talking, and I asked him if he’d ever date someone shorter than him. “Would you date a little person?” I asked, catching him off guard.
“It depends on the person,” he said carefully. “I think it comes down to personality and compatibility.”
Body Image Pressures in the LGBT Community
Our chat took a deeper turn when Darius opened up about body image pressures in the gay male community.
“I think appearance matters a lot in the gay community,” he explained. “When it’s two men together, there’s this thing I call the ‘male gaze’—how men view society and physical appearance.”
I listened closely as he broke it down. “I think gay men face more body pressure than straight men, and it’s almost like the pressure women face. They’re more likely to have gym memberships or deal with body issues.”
“Why do you think that is?” I asked.
“I don’t know how to explain it perfectly, but it’s real. Everything women expect from men—gay men often expect that too, maybe even more.”
Future Plans for Having Children
As we continued, we started discussing Darius’s future plans for having kids through s-u-r-r-o-g-a-c-y.
“I’ve been thinking about surrogacy—maybe in 25 years,” Darius said.
“Twenty-five years? You’ll be 50 then!” I exclaimed.
“I want to be financially secure first. Surrogacy costs around $150,000,” he explained.
I completely understood where he was coming from. Having kids is a major decision, especially for same-s*x couples. “Do you know if many African-American women become s-u-r-r-o-g-a-t-e-s?” I asked.
“I don’t know. Hopefully, people will share their insights in the comments.”
We dove into the complexities of s-u-r-r-o-g-a-c-y—from choosing a gestational carrier who aligns with physical and cultural preferences to legal concerns if the carrier changes her mind.
Final Thoughts
As our conversation came to a close, I felt deeply proud of Darius’s maturity and thoughtful outlook. He has strong, non-judgmental views on love and always treats others with respect.
“I try to remind the women who watch my channel that they matter at every stage of life,” Darius said. “No matter how old you are, whether you have kids or not, whether you have a career or not—you are valuable and worthy.”
That’s my son—a young man who leads with love, respect, and a clear sense of his path. Life may throw challenges, but I believe Darius will find happiness in his own way.
