I Once Poured Boi*ling Water on My So*n – And That’s Just One Part of the Story About Darius!

Hey y’all! I want to share some fun and personal stories about my son Darius. Starting with one I think y’all will find really interesting—he had the strangest little habit ever since he was a baby. Darius started sucking his thumb while he was still in my belly, and when he was born, he had this unique behavior. Anytime someone held him—didn’t matter who it was—he would reach out and touch their lips or their earlobes. Even strangers at church! We had to keep telling people, “Darius isn’t allowed to be touching strangers’ lips like that!” And when we stopped him from touching people’s lips, he went right back to sucking his thumb.

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I even have a permanent scar on my hand from all the times he sucked on it—his saliva was so acidic that it broke down my skin over time. I remember telling him, “If you don’t stop wetting the bed, I’m gonna pour water on you at 6 a.m.!” And one time… I actually did it. I accidentally poured hot water on his scalp—it was a mistake! But if he had told that story as a kid, CPS would’ve been at my door in a heartbeat!

Now fast forward to today—there’s something about Darius y’all gotta know. He hates when people already know him from YouTube before he knows them. If he finds out someone knows him from the internet, it’s over. Blocked. Deleted. He won’t even speak to them again. He says it’s because they know too much about him before he even knows their name. There’s this one guy who still texts him and honestly, I feel bad because I don’t even know where he knows us from! They were already friends on Snapchat, and it freaked Darius out. He was like, “Why is this guy on my Snapchat?” I even made a video about the dude—because if he watches it, he’ll get exposed. I really think he knows us from YouTube but doesn’t wanna admit it.

Another fun fact—Darius looks way younger than he is. He’s 23 now, but when I look at other guys his age, they look all grown, muscular, hitting the gym and everything. But Darius? He’s small, smooth-skinned like a 12-year-old. I always tell him, “Boy, you haven’t fully developed yet!” But he swears he’s grown. He does have more facial hair than some folks in the family though—like Uncle Jerry, who can’t grow a beard to save his life. I convinced Darius to keep the little beard he’s got so he’d look more mature. Without it, he looks even younger. He hates shaving though! I tell him, “Go to a professional barber!” but he’s always saying his beard looks messy.

Now personality-wise, we are nothing alike. I’m carefree—I don’t like to stress over politics or social stuff. I just wanna wake up, feel good, be in a positive mood, and enjoy life. That’s me. But Darius? He’s a thinker. He wants to understand everything. Don’t tell him something unless you’re ready to back it up—he’ll ask where it came from, how it evolved, and why it matters. He’s full of deep questions—about life, people, and where we came from. He wants deep conversations. And I’m just like, “I don’t know, baby, you gotta ask someone else—I’m not the one for that!” That kind of thinking makes my head hurt! But his dad? They can talk all day long. Darius tells me, “Mom, you’re too carefree, you don’t care about this stuff,” and I’m like, “You’re right, Darius! I can’t do those deep talks!”

I know Darius faces a lot. He’s Black, he’s gay, and he’s small—and yes, I always add “small” to the list! I know there are things he deals with every day that I’ll never truly understand. I mean, yes, I’m a Black woman too, but it’s a whole different challenge. Just three weeks ago, I texted him out of the blue: “Darius, you are enough. You are loved. We love you just as you are.” He thought it was random, but I needed him to know it. I don’t know what it’s like to be Black and gay, but he does—and people act like it’s no big deal. Like, “So what?” But it is a big deal, and folks need to stop dismissing that.

Darius is also not a social butterfly like me. I can talk to anyone—like we’ve been friends for years. I’m super outgoing. But him? When he meets someone, he’s observing first. He wants to figure out who you are and whether he feels safe around you. If you come off fake, or do something embarrassing? He gone. It’ll be interesting when we go on this family trip with all these cousins we’ve never met before—about 25 of them! I told him, “If someone tries to talk to you the whole trip, we gonna have to get you a drink!” And he goes, “I don’t know what these people want from me.” And I’m like, “Look, I can talk to anybody—but you can’t!”

Lastly, I just want to say—Darius and Devin had a good childhood. Darius didn’t grow up knowing anything about the “hood” or the “ghett-o.” He had family vacations, good memories—I’m proud of that. He’s even hairier than most of us—his legs are hairy like a gorilla, and I used to joke, “Boy, what did you do with the milkman?” But there ain’t no milkman anymore—now it’s the Amazon driver! That’s my boy, Darius. A young man figuring out life, with a deep mind and a sensitive heart. I love him for exactly who he is.