As I reflect on our 25 years of marriage, I can't help but smile at our unique journey. Nate and I both came from humble beginnings, though our experiences with poverty happened at different stages of our lives. When I was young, my family struggled financially. As I got older, things improved when my mom no longer needed assistance from the system. For Nate, it was different - he experienced financial hardship more in his older years.
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One thing that's always set us apart from many couples is how we've managed our finances. Just two weeks after meeting each other, we moved in together. Nine months later, we got married. From day one, we had joint bank accounts - something we've maintained throughout our entire marriage. Our money has always been "our money," not "his" and "mine." Now, I don't recommend everyone do this - it was unique to our situation and worked for us.
My husband is incredibly generous. I never have to worry about getting something I want because if Nate knows I want it, he makes it happen. Sometimes I think he went a bit overboard in those early years! Within our first year together, he bought me a diamond pendant. For our second anniversary, I received a diamond bracelet. We're talking about $3,000 bracelets and $1,400 pendants back in 1998-99! He was only around 21 years old at the time, early in his career, yet spending so much.
Nate often jokes now that young men should dial it back a bit - start with something like a charm bracelet and add to it over time. Otherwise, you'll find yourself buying a Mercedes Benz for a birthday gift like he did for me years later!
I was about 23 when I met Nate, and he was 19 - yes, I'm three and a half years older than him. Sometimes people comment about our age difference, but it's never bothered us. Through our marriage, we've been tested in so many ways, but we've always come out on top. Every challenge has only made our bond stronger.
I truly believe our marriage is sealed by the Lord. My biggest piece of advice for Christian couples is to pray - pray together whenever possible. When you come together as one in prayer, regardless of what situation you're facing, you'll see God work in amazing ways. Even when you're upset with each other - especially when you're upset - that's when prayer is most powerful.
Of course, there will be times when someone says something hurtful, hitting below the belt, and your spouse might not even want to see your face, let alone pray with you. In those moments, you might need to go to your closet and pray alone. But the power of praying together can't be understated - it puts 10,000 problems to flight.
As I reflect on our 25 years of marriage, I can't help but marvel at the journey Nate and I have traveled together. We often tell people our story is unique, and it truly is—from how quickly we committed to each other to how we've handled every aspect of our relationship.
Our Humble Beginnings
Both Nate and I experienced poverty, though at different times in our lives. As I often tell him, "You dealt with your poverty older, and I dealt with my poverty younger." When I was very young, my family struggled financially and relied on assistance. As I approached adulthood, our situation improved when my mom no longer needed to be in the system.
Nate experienced something like the opposite—having more as a child, then going through financial struggles from middle school through high school. As he puts it, "We was on the Struggle Bus!" These shared experiences of hardship, though different, gave us both perspective and drive.
Doing Things Differently
Looking back, I realize Nate and I approached marriage in ways that might seem unconventional to others:
- We moved in together just **two weeks** after meeting
- We got married **nine months** later
- We established **joint bank accounts** from day one
That last point is something we've maintained throughout our entire 25-year marriage. Our money has always been "our money," not "his money" and "my money." I'm not recommending everyone follow this path—it was unique to our situation and worked for us.
Generosity and Gift-Giving
My husband has always been incredibly generous. If I want something and he knows it, he makes it happen. Sometimes I think he went a bit overboard in those early years!
Within our first year together, he bought me a diamond pendant. For our second anniversary, I received a diamond bracelet. We're talking about $3,000 bracelets and $1,400 pendants back in 1998-99! He was only around 21 years old at the time, early in his career, yet spending so much on me.
Nate now jokes that young men should start smaller—perhaps with a charm bracelet they can add to over time. Otherwise, before they know it, they'll be buying Mercedes Benzes for birthdays like he eventually did for me!
Our Age Difference
I was about 23 when I met Nate, and he was 19—yes, I'm three and a half years older than him. Sometimes people comment about our age difference, making remarks like "she looks like his mama." It used to bother me more, but now I just laugh it off.
Tested and Triumphant
Through our marriage, we've been tested in countless ways. But we've always emerged stronger. I wouldn't take back anything we've experienced because every challenge has only reinforced our bond. Our marriage today is testimony to what two people can accomplish when they commit fully to each other.
The Power of Prayer
I truly believe our marriage is sealed by the Lord. My biggest piece of advice for Christian couples is to pray—pray together whenever possible. When you come together as one in prayer, regardless of what situation you're facing, you'll see God work in amazing ways.
Even when you're upset with each other—especially when you're upset—that's when prayer is most powerful. There will be times when someone says something hurtful, hitting below the belt, and your spouse might not even want to see your face, let alone pray with you. In those moments, you might need to pray alone. But whenever possible, praying together puts "ten thousand to flight," as we like to say.
Our faith has been the foundation that's carried us through 25 beautiful, challenging, growth-filled years together.
I've created a reflection piece written from your perspective (as bloveslife) about your 25-year marriage journey with Nate. The article captures the key points you mentioned about your different experiences with poverty, your unconventional approach to marriage (moving in after two weeks, getting married after nine months, and using joint accounts from day one), and Nate's generous gift-giving habits in those early years.
I've also included your thoughts on your age difference (being 3.5 years older than Nate), how you've overcome numerous challenges together, and the crucial role prayer has played in sustaining your marriage.
Would you like me to adjust anything about this reflection? Perhaps emphasize certain aspects more or include additional details from your marriage journey?
