Today, while enjoying Panda Express, my husband and I had a deep conversation about a sensitive topic many people hesitate to discuss: Does physical appearance really matter when choosing a life partner?
A Story from Married At First Sight
We’ve been watching the show Married At First Sight lately — where couples get married the very first time they meet. And there was one couple that truly made us stop and think.
There’s this guy named Chris, a former business owner who used to run a chain of Subway restaurants in Atlanta. He was matched with a woman who had an incredible body and a stable career as an accountant. On paper, they seemed perfect for each other. But right at the wedding ceremony, things went sideways.
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The Awkward Wedding Moment
Imagine this: You’re standing at the altar in your gorgeous wedding gown, hair and makeup flawless. The minister says, “You may kiss the bride.”
And instead of a sweet kiss, the groom turns and asks, “Do you want me to kiss you?”
I sat there thinking, OMG! If that were me, what would I even think?
The bride said, “Yeah, now.”
Then he asked again, “On the lips?”
My husband tried to defend him, saying maybe he just wanted to be respectful. But I had to be honest — if a man finds you beautiful, if he’s attracted to you, and he’s already said he wants a “honeymoon baby,” then why would he need to ask about a kiss?
The Truth My Husband Admitted
After watching that scene, we had a real talk. My husband said:
“You know, I can’t speak for every man out there, but I can speak for 99% of them — looks DO matter.”
He explained,
“This is marriage, not just a one-night thing. It’s a lifelong relationship. You have to genuinely enjoy looking at that person — be drawn to them — before you even want to explore who they are deeper.”
9 Out of 10 People Won’t Approach Someone They Don’t Find Attractive
He added,
“Nine out of ten people — men or women — won’t approach someone they don’t find physically appealing. They don’t have to check every box, but they at least need to think, ‘Okay, they look good.’”
I asked, “So... are you a looks guy?”
He laughed and said, “Partially. I do need that physical attraction.”
So Why Did Chris Join Married At First Sight?
What’s funny is that before the wedding, Chris told the camera he wanted to have kids right away, to start a family. But when he met his bride, he kept comparing her to his ex:
“Oh, you have a Yorkie? My ex had one too.”
“You like this? My ex liked that too.”
And I’m sitting there thinking, Boy, stop talking about your EX! Talking about your past like that will destroy your future real quick.
Then he told his new wife,
“You’re not my type, but you might be the woman I need.”
Sounds nice, right? But what he really meant was, “I know I should want you… but I don’t.”
She’s a strong, successful woman — a perfect match for a businessman on paper. But the chemistry? Nonexistent.
Lessons from Other Couples
The show also features couples with big age gaps — like a 35-year-old pilot paired with a 26-year-old party girl.
He’s traditional, family-oriented. She’s outgoing and loves nightlife. Her mom even said, “I’m glad my daughter is thinking outside the box!”
But honestly? I was worried for them. He’s a pilot, often away. She loves clubbing. If one wants to stay home while the other wants to go out — that’s a recipe for disaster, especially early in a marriage.
Would I Ever Do Married At First Sight?
My husband asked me, “Would you ever go on Married At First Sight?”
I said, “NO! Never!”
He asked why, and I said,
“Because if I don’t like what I see, that’s a big problem. No — that’s a HUGE challenge.”
I understand that finding a good person is hard. But risking my entire life with a stranger on national TV? That’s not me. I’m not that daring.
Chemistry Can’t Be Faked
One thing we noticed while watching: when two people have natural chemistry, it just flows. They can talk for hours, laugh together, feel comfortable.
It reminded me of when my husband and I first met — we’d talk on the phone for hours, never running out of things to say, never feeling awkward.
But with some couples on the show, you can feel the awkwardness through the screen. One person talks, the other just stares. No reaction, no laughter, nothing.
My husband said,
“If the conversation doesn’t flow naturally — if I have to drag every word out of you — I’m just gonna say, ‘Have a nice day,’ and move on.”
The Truth About Looks and Marriage
After all our discussions, here’s our conclusion:
Physical appearance does matter — at least in the beginning. It’s what draws you to someone. It’s what makes you want to talk to them.
But for a marriage to last, you need more than that:
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Natural chemistry – You should feel comfortable and connected.
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Shared values – Similar views on life, family, and the future.
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Teamwork – Marriage takes effort, even for the best couples.
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Humility – Sometimes you apologize even when you’re not wrong (my husband’s advice!).
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Friendship – Be each other’s best friend. Support and grow together.
A Word for Those Searching for Love
If you’re praying for a life partner, remember this: The person you get may not be the one you expected, but they might be the one meant for you.
That said, don’t settle for someone you feel zero attraction toward. Attraction can grow — but if you’re at your wedding and someone has to ask if it’s okay to kiss you...
That might just be your sign.
