Y’all, I’m sittin’ here eatin’ Curtis and suddenly my mind just went wild thinkin’ about the craziest stuff!
Have y’all ever wondered—like, seriously—how many baby diapers you’ve changed in your whole life? I’m tellin’ y’all the truth! I used to run a childcare center and take care of all those babies, so sometimes I just stop and ask myself, “How many diapers have I actually changed in my lifetime?”
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Now just imagine this—picture yourself standin’ in the middle of a landfill, a big ol’ trash yard, and every single diaper you ever changed is piled up right there. Express people! Especially those who worked in childcare centers—OH MY GOODNESS! I mean, y’all, it could probably fill up a whole room! Some of y’all… your WHOLE HOUSE would be packed to the ceiling with diapers! Ain’t that somethin’?
And then I started thinkin’—how many rolls of toilet paper have we used in our lifetime? Like really, how many?
Anyway, y’all, while I was eatin’ Curtis just now, I noticed these tiny little specks on him. Wait a minute, y’all! Do y’all see those little dots? What the heck is that? It reminded me of caviar—like those tiny fish eggs. Baby fish eggs!
I heard caviar is one of the most expensive foods in the world, but I would never try it, because it’s fish eggs! EW! I mean, is it really that good? Do people actually know they’re eatin’ fish eggs? Or is it just like… tartar? I’ve never had tartar before, but the name “tartar” sounds real fancy, right? Very upscale!
But anyway, this ain’t tartar. It don’t taste like tuna. Now tuna—that sounds fancy, but it can actually be so good if you make it right!
Y’all know there’s regular tuna, and then there’s Southern tuna—the kind them Southern mamas make. They put mustard in it, a little vinegar, a touch of sugar, and then they add Miracle Whip—MIRACLE WHIP, y’all! Okay, that’s the real deal right there! That’s the kind of tuna your girl loves. Don’t give me that plain tuna with just mayo and no sugar, okay?
Alright y’all, I think I’m full now…
Those are just the random thoughts runnin’ through my mind while I’m enjoyin’ Curtis the Crab, honey!
